I think I only have only recently started to love God. Like maybe within the past 2-3 years. Before that I think I would profess to love God, because that is what you do when you are a Christian. But to truly love God you must know his character. And I have come to know his character more and more as I have come to understand the "now and not yet" of the Kingdom of God.
On a tangent, sometimes I feel like I am not very smart. I am horrible at remembering things I've read or learned. Today I could hardly tell you anything about Sociology or Social Work theory though I spend 6 years studying those topics. I've been trying to challenge myself recently by spending more time in reflection, breaking things into digestible pieces.
Twitter, of all things, has helped in this area. At a recent conference I tweeted the biggest take-away for each session I attended. Three weeks later I found myself quoting a tweet verbatim to a friend as it related to our conversation. I probably would have never remembered it otherwise, but 140 characters made it manageable.
I know my head and my heart are wired the way they are for a reason, so I don't want to be too hard on myself. But I do want to be challenged. Which brings me to the quote I tried to capture above:
"For I tell you this: one loving, blind desire for God alone is more valuable in itself, more pleasing to God and to the saints, more beneficial to your own growth, and more helpful to your friends, both living and dead, than anything else you could do" (reading from The Cloud of Unknowing, as quoted in the book of Common Prayer).
My love and desire for the Lord has increased. I can't really explain it well, I can't pinpoint when it started to happen, and I can't quote many scriptures to back it up. But maybe the most important thing is that it is there. To hear that that in itself is valuable, pleasing, beneficial, and helpful to God and others encourages and empowers me. And I hope that love will drive more learning.
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